Rooting For Growth with Fiona DaCosta

Today’s article: 50 Things I learnt, from 5 months of no social media *

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Okay, so to be very clear…

This article is by no means advocating that you ditch your social media platforms. After all, from the 50 things I learnt from going 5 months without social media, not all of them are in favour of the hiatus.

However, as I will be completely transparent, you’ll see that for me, it was grand experience!

But first, some background…

What led me to quit social media for 5 months?

Frankly, quitting social media was something I though about long and hard, even before my cell phone was damaged. In fact, I remember texting with my girlfriends in our WhatsApp group of three (3), and sharing with them these intentions.

I was over the digital life – way before the pandemic! I was up to my neck with faux connections, the expectations of instant responses, the easy access of the happenings in my life by persons I didn’t share those happenings with, the anxiety of feedback (whether likes, comments, views or emoji reactions), and generally the distractions, commercialisms, microwaved gratifications, comparisons and tailored highlights of the spaces.

What’s my issue with social media really?

Like anything in life, how you utilize social media will impact your experience of it.

I am most proud to say, I utilized it well. By my standards of course. By that I mean, I always had a good sense of control over how much time I allocate there. What I participate in. The content and people I associate with etc.

Nonetheless, it never really gave me a sense of fulfillment. Instead, I felt like it was a big screen where people put on a show or seek attention, or meddle and try to sum you up or ‘catch up’ with your living – even if they really don’t care much for you personally.

I wanted to embrace life behind that screen.

I wanted to be more intentional and more selective of who I shared my stories with. Whether they were stories of adversities or triumph.

I wanted people to connect with me genuinely, and I genuinely with them. Not out of a texting addiction or status snooping ritual or emoji bound pastime.

I wanted to be less accessible and more connected!

You might be wondering how does that makes sense! Here’s how:

With the windows closed and the noises of social media drowned out – I could focus on the people who really mattered. Sometimes, they are the ones who we tend to disconnect with, becoming inaccessible to them – while living this strange virtual life with fickle connections.

I wanted to see the depth of the conversations, if any, should we meet in the street, get on a call or join each other from across the room after a session recess.

I wanted to see what difference it would make and whether I would choose that difference.

Turns out, I learnt 50 things as you will see in the list below. And I will sum up my forward trajectory later.

Before that, this prominent question…

To what extent did I quit social media?

I think I quit social media- way before I quitted!

It was gradual. Before the 5 months quit… I started spending less time on WhatsApp. My updates were infrequent. I prioritized the notion of ‘less screen time’.

For urgent messages I would respond quickly – but for the heys, and emoji reactions or status snoopings… those declined quickly on both ends.

Its true, people respond to energy and that was the energy I was exuding, so I didn’t mind when it was reciprocated. I craved it actually.

On the Social Media Platform of Instagram…

Before the 5 months quit, I had also had a good grasp of my time on Instagram. In fact, I went as far as to set up a ‘time out’ in my settings.

I mostly browsed through the news, intentionally tried to show love on my close friends’ posts, supported causes or organizations I’m affiliated with (sometimes by re-posting or promoting events or products) and I did a few posts and highlights of my own. They were never frequent as I always try not to over indulge in anything. And I never ever want to give too much of my life’s happenings away so casually.

I noticed that sometimes I would be anxious though. And as I told you, I will be transparent in this article.

I realized that there would be times when I checked on a post to see how many likes were forthcoming, or who would be liking it.

Even before the actual posting, I noticed that sometimes I would be so bent on getting a great photo to post later or instead of truly being present in a particular moment, I would be preparing a caption or thinking about the best time or thing to post!

You know what I thought after a series of reflection? I thought, this is RIDICULOUS!

I deleted my Instagram account.

But since we are almost at the list of 50 things I learnt after quitting social media for 5 months, I’ll hold off on the lesson here.

Let’s jump to the social media platform of Facebook

Facebook was the first to go even before my cell phone was damaged.

The truth is, I seldom used it. It was just…there. The most beneficial way Facebook served me, was when I used it to log into other applications without going through an entirely new sign-in/sign-up regimen. I was grateful for that!

However, I didn’t know half the people I was friends with on Facebook. I think this is owing to the fact that when I first created the Facebook account, I wasn’t intentional about my use of it. I probably just heard along the way to create it and did so on a whim.

Because I hardly interacted in the space, I wasn’t any good with maneuvering the platform either. It was like I was in a foreign country, with no GPS and no interest either. I didn’t hesitate. It was deleted before I could say birthday reminders.

This social media platform wasn’t so easy to part with

Honestly, I missed not having WhatsApp when my cellphone was damaged. I loved using my e-mail/laptop everyday though!

It was less intrusive. A little less expectation of instant replies. It took more effort to connect with someone over email and I got to see the people who took that effort to stay connected to me there. Mind you, I reached out to quite a few persons to let them know my cellphone was damaged and that my email/laptop would be my new phone per say!

So I wasn’t on a remote island. Locked away from the modern tendencies of the world. As a matter of fact, WhatsApp was the only social media platform I did not intentionally part with. Especially because I connected to work collogues there, I was in volunteer groups, my close friends and mentors were there, family, clients etc.

All the other social media platforms were long gone before my phone!

Also, because this was during the time I was completing my Law degree, it was a welcome breath of fresh air and focus.

I declined offers to either have my phone fixed or replaced because I realized that the lack of it, was enhancing the atmosphere I needed for the semester.

However, this soon proved 90% correct as there were some group assignments that were imperative and the most convenient platform for the other members… was WhatsApp (group messaging).

Fortunately… (for my degree’s sake) I was home with my Dad that semester and used his WhatsApp chiefly for those not so frequent but imperative communications.

So, with a new phone, what social media have I?

With my studies for my Law degree complete, and a new phone at hand…

I only have WhatsApp, which I still use sparingly. Truth is, from my assessment, its the only one I really need. While I love my alone time, no screen time, and texting time out (I hate texting by the way), I also love checking in and connecting with my contacts. Some of them at least. You know, on a personal level.

There’s no denying that some persons in our contacts are not necessarily in our personal circles. But remain valuable in other areas of life. No sarcasm nor savageness there. Just plain jane truth.

I have also kept my LinkedIn social medial platform

LinkedIn had proved so beneficial and effective, especially since my one-on-one professional mentorship session about how to use LinkedIn and how to set up a Linked-In profile that stands out.

It aids in my professional growth. And leaves little to no room for me to be pretentious. I like that.

With all that context, here’s the 50 things I learnt from quitting social media for 5 months:

1. You aren’t missing out on a thing!
2. People become more interested in your life (curiosity I suppose)
3. Persons may believe you are avoiding them, even if there are other ways to communicate!
4. Other applications on your devices function better
5. You certainly will miss the social media platforms…for a while
6. You taste a social ‘death’ and see how easily your presence and existence can fade
7. You make less announcements, and achieve more
8. People tend to be braver behind a screen
9. Out of sight, out of mind (it goes both ways)
10. You become less anxious
11. Your eyes feel better and look better
12. You direct your conversations/thoughts specifically to those intended, instead of hiding them behind posts
13. You wonder how others are doing, just as they may wonder about you
14. You laugh for real, live for real and keep even the ugliest pictures for pure memory
15. The days seems fuller
16. You pin point changes you’d make if you do get back on social media
17. People find ways to reach out IF they want to, especially if they need something (that goes both ways)
18. You spend less money!
19. You take more time to think about issues and develop your opinions
20. You won’t be up to date with the latest buzz words
21. Social media platforms were updated and so are you!
22. Your phone’s storage has more space
23. You acknowledge that you’ve outgrown people and places or that they have outgrown you
24. You find communication alternatives really quickly
25. You miss your friends who pretty much don’t mind the media

26. You have more control over who you share information with

27. You spend less time on your phone

28. For WhatsApp, group members may think you exited the group chat

29. You won’t be able to send messages in WhatsApp group chats if/when you re-install (unless you ask to be re-added)

30. It contributes to improved mental health

31. You start your mornings better

32. You save more time not doom scrolling

33. Your battery life lasts longer

34. You care less what people think

35. You feel freer, not being in multiple places at once!

36. Less people get to weasel their way into your personal space

37. You become more mindful of the information you want to know about, limiting whatever pops up in your face

38. You realize a subconscious tendency to measure your worth using social media… and you kick it to the curb!

39. Your posture improves

40. You realize that social media can be a real addiction in people’s lives

41. You place more value on phone calls and physical interactions

42. People may think you lost your phone or it was stolen

43. You’ll be seen as ‘different’ ‘impressive even… to have ignored social media

44. People may think you are hiding something

45. You become less easy to ‘sum -up’

46. You feel like a new person in a new world!

47. You will feel less connected to persons you socialized with on social media

48. You cringe less at information you may have shared

49. You reflect while in social media ‘isolation’ and put your life into perspective

50. You think about your responses more and express yourself better… since there are no emoji reactions

Moving Forward with social media

Currently, I only utilize WhatsApp and LinkedIn for my personal use. I still use them minimally but efficiently nonetheless.

I utilize Instagram and Pinterest for Rooting For Growth (blogging purposes) because of the result oriented nature and purpose for which they were created.

Although I am not opposed to getting back on Instagram, its certainly not a goal right now. I intend to reflect and map out a purpose for which it may bring me fulfillment, while living truly and being present.

And all the lessons I learnt while being away, I certainly will put them all into perspective.

Final Thoughts

While I didn’t stay away from social media as part of a social media detox challenge, maybe its something you could try to see how it works out for you – before taking the drastic steps of deleting your social media accounts for good.

The good thing is – you can always recreate your accounts or reactivate them before they expire for good (60 days I believe, don’t quote me on this). The point really, is that they are redeemable. So you can give it a try to make your determination if a detox or a total delete is of interest to you.