Rooting For Growth with Fiona DaCosta

How have you been loving yourself lately?

Does that sound like a funny question?

You know, a lot of people would be stumped if they got asked that question on spot. It would be different though, if they were asked how they have been loving everyone else.

They’d be able to quickly answer – citing the care, attention and sacrifices they’ve given to make others feel loved.

Our world is like a theatre. You are it’s star actor.

You play the role of sibling, parent, partner, confidant, career woman/man, good Samaritan – making sure everyone’s needs are taken care of and that they feel loved.

Sometimes, you may get lost in the process of it all. You may even be tempted to justify the self-neglect with the fact that you so often show love to others.

Whether you believe it or not – loving others doesn’t equate to loving yourself. Although, it shows the capacity of love you have and the potential of your self love.

You would hope, that the way in which you love others – is the way in which they’ll return that love.

Not all the time.

This is especially true, considering that people tend to take the ones who truly love them for granted.

As a result – it should be of utmost importance to make way, time and effort into showing yourself love. It need not mean that you neglect everyone else in the process. That would be conceited and selfish.

Indulge in the self love that isn’t selfish. That way, you are present in every moment. Aware of your needs and still – the needs of others. But not running yourself a wreck in the pursuit to be selfless.

The people who understand and encourage you to show yourself love – even knowing that they’ll not be the center of it all, are worth keeping around and getting worked up about sometimes.

For those who will take offence to the care and love you deserve – and show yourself – steer clear of them.

Loving Yourself is a Grand part of Growing Yourself & Valuing YOU.

1. Get a plant

Name that plant and treat it as though you were that plant. Ensure it gets adequate sunlight, water, plant food and keep it somewhere safe. Somewhere you are proud to have it.

Be sure to get one you aren’t allergic to. Rather, one that you consider beautiful and brings out the best in you.

This will be a good example of what it means to care for the people who are NOT toxic for you. Self love should be beautiful, delicate and growth enhancing… like nurturing that plant.

2. Fully Acknowledge your Birthday

When its a holiday or a day of observance for something historic or profound, great emphasis is placed on such a day.

Even a stranger coming into town or the country can tell something important is happening.

So too, the day you were born is profound and special. And although everyone chooses to celebrate their birthdays differently – there is this tendency among many persons to say: “oh, its just another day” or “it’s no big deal.”

Truth is, it is a BIG deal. Whether you want to sleep in or go rock climbing is up to you. However, taking pride in, and fully acknowledging the day is indicative of the value you place on your coming into existence.

It is okay to show yourself love on the day and accept showers of love too!

3. Compliment Yourself!

Do you know of anyone who strives to get complimented by others and feel terribly when they don’t? Its human nature to want to be validated. However, that should be a byproduct – not the end goal.

Make it a regular habit to compliment yourself. Make it real, fun and natural. Its an instant boost to your confidence and the value you hold yourself to.

Besides, you are more likely to tell yourself the truth about your awesomeness – when others are holding back on such a stellar compliment!

4. Voice your Opinion on Decisions that May Affect You

Imagine a bird, at a meeting with foxes. The discussion is about clipping the wings of flying creatures. The foxes ask if there are any questions, objections or concerns.

The bird is timid. It feels as though it is out of place. Will its input make a difference?

If you are honest with yourself, you may be able to recognize similar situations that you have been in – and you didn’t stand up for yourself. Especially those situations where you could have made an impact.

Standing up for yourself may be hard at times, but it is important and it comes with practice – which matures into a habit. Once a decision will impact you negatively, the love you have for yourself – should prompt you to give it a go – and voice your concern.

The more you do, the more you will believe in your value and the consideration you deserve.

5. Practice Good Habits

Undoubtedly, good habits uplift your personal growth and enhance your self -love through the positivity and commitment that come with good habits.

Download the FREE Growth Habits Checklist below to help you practice and reflect on some good habits that are sure to enhance your self -love and personal growth!

6. Invest in Yourself

The value of investing in yourself can not be over emphasized. How else would you be purposefully looking out for YOU?

Investing in self is one of 5 things you should never feel guilty about. When you utilize your time, energy, resources, skills and talents to your benefit, it shows that you value and love yourself.

This is especially true, because many persons often neglect themselves when utilizing these crucial things. Invest in self for a change so you can be better able to be of impact to those you love and care for.

Not only is self-investment good for personal growth; it also enhances your self-love!

7. Learn to Love Yourself!

This is so true!

When you love yourself, it becomes easier to enhance that love!

Similarly, if there is no self love to begin with, how can you enhance what isn’t there?

In learning to love yourself, you will need to become very present and aware about how you feel about YOU. Be honest about how you feel about your physical and intangible self.

Admit any flaws, and acknowledge that they make up who you are – which is what makes you unique.

Acknowledge the things about you that you love too! When you love yourself, you find yourself – and become better able to enhance your self love!

8. Choose Your Circle/ Clean Up your Circle

This made the list for obvious reasons, but sometimes, its the obvious things that we have most difficulty recognizing.

There are many things that you don’t get to choose i.e. your family, your co-workers, your community members etc.

Nonetheless, when it comes down to your circle of friends and confidants – you have great autonomy.

Chances are, many of the people in your circle are ones you didn’t really choose. You hang on to them because you were a part of a group, or they are friends of friends and family. Sometimes, they are people you met in spaces of common interest.

When you keep all these people as part of your circle, you diminish its value. Especially since the bond isn’t around the relationship – rather the circumstances or stimulus which brought you together in the first place.

Admittedly, often times, the best of friends and confidants come out of situations like these – and that’s because you recognize them way past the initial stimulus – and importantly, they do the same.

A key part of choosing your circle, is making sure these people choose you too!

That way, the quality of love is present both ways. This will enhance your self love because your close relationships will not be forced or arranged – and you have a LOT to do with that!

Enhance your self love by choosing your circle. And if you have done so already, it may be high time to ‘clean up’ your circle.

9. Make time for the People who Love You!

Here’s another obvious – yet not so obvious.

In making time, to spend time with the people who love you, you are enhancing your self – love!

How so? Its quite simple. You give yourself permission to be present where sources of love for you generate. These people want the best for you and are concerned about your happiness and well being.

Staying away from them, means staying away from meaningful love. In loving yourself, you show others how to love you.

And sometimes – the people who love you – show you how to love yourself. And that certainly enhances your self-love.

10. Accept Compliments – Gracefully

Accepting compliments may be hard for some people and easy for others.

Are the compliments true or are they just plain flattery?

Good questions. Truth is, you won’t know 100% of the time, whether the compliments are true or far from the truth.

Nonetheless, you’ll most likely have an intuitive feeling about what compliments are genuine. Accept them gracefully, even if you already know the things about yourself that are being admired.

This enhances your self – love as you make time to graciously listen to the good things being admired about you – and not shut them out or feel awkward about such values seen in you!

Its almost like, welcoming the adoration into your being. And that’s good for enhancing your self -love!

11. Saying NO

Sometimes, saying no is the best self love out there!

You get to prioritize how you really feel for a change. Saying no shouldn’t be a nervous, guilty, awkward experience. Especially when your no is in line with your values, priorities and reality.

Its also a good chance to stop being a people pleaser and stand in your truth. You’ll soon have less demands, manipulations and takers to deal with.

This means, you’ll most likely have time to reinstate your boundaries, become keener about the people who are reasonable and those who are not.

Best of all, after a few hard nos, your love for self will be enhanced, as you truly tune in to YOU and monitor with great precision, your yeses and your nos.

12. Know Your Value

If you only place a small value upon yourself, rest assured, the world won’t raise the price.

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As a result, you need to determine your worth and go about your life accordingly. Let your self value be an assessment of your ambitions, belief in self, potential, goals and growth etc.

Avoid basing your value on material things and the highest moments in life – this is especially noteworthy, since these things are temporary.

You don’t want your value to be inconsistent as the temporary things. Identify your value and know your worth, they will enhance your self love.

13. Indulge in Things that are Good for You

Often times, its the things that are bad for you that seem most appealing. Like eating junk food, swearing all the time, listening just to respond… you name it.

How about indulging in the things that are truly good for you – enhancing your self love in return. Take for example exercising, eating more fruits and vegetables, revisiting your hobbies, staying on track with medication, syncing your goals with your growth and constantly monitoring your habits.

You can start with those good growing habits and add some of your own. Enhance your self -love, by indulging in the things that are good for you.

14. Keep Caring Content Close!

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